"AS A Father, What You Do Matter."
Scriptural Text: ; ; Tim 5:8
J. Daane perhaps best articulates it:
Thus the concept of father, whether applied to God, man, the devil, or evil, and whether used biologically or spiritually, literally or figuratively, always expresses the notion of source or fountain of procession. The richness and beauty of the biblical concept of father lies in that, being a source of another, the father imparts and communicates himself to this other. This idea of self-impartation and self-communication is as definitive of the concept of father as is the notion of source. A father gives of himself to that which he fathers, so what proceeds from the source participates in the source. He who is a father communicates something of himself to that which he fathers in such a way that the other has not merely his source in the father, but also the nature of the father’s reality. The other partakes of the nature of his father. This accounts for the close ties and deep affection between the source and that which proceeds from it.6
However, enjoying the relationship with our fathers does not require them to be the perfect parent or for us to be the perfect son. All of this calls us to recognize our father within us, the legacy he has left us (for good or for ill), and why you are the person you are because of him.
The Legacy of Our Father
We will all leave behind a mixed legacy. Since none of us are perfect, what we bequeath to our sons (and all those with whom we are in relation) will be varied. Also, some families are not the iconic traditional family, having suffered the pain of loss from death, divorce, or abandonment; wherein it is possible that as a son you had more than one father who has left an impression upon your life. As a son, you are the recipients of the shortcomings of your father as well as his strengths; both are his legacy to you.
Sins of the Father
Sometimes, the lessons learned from our father are unfortunate. Intentional or unintentional, the errors of our fathers are part of their legacy. I remember speaking to an elder at a congregation once whose work-ethic was beyond measure. In fact, it began to create family instability, paining his wife and children.
Acknowledging our fathers’ shortcomings and assessing the mark they left on our lives is the first step in overcoming them. Oftentimes, without realizing it or with the best of intentions, we impress upon our sons our own faults; and as sons we must become aware of the impact our fathers may have had on us. While this may provide an initial reason for behaviors, dispositions, and values; it does not excuse them, only explains them.